


laurellance has created group chat The Beginnings of Hell

by Icebutterfly116



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: ALSO THEA IS A BABY PROTECT HER, F/F, F/M, M/M, a lot of this is based off my discord server, adding more tags as i go on here we go, broke: laurel and felicity are moms to felicity's baby, but im going to make it work, but secretly she loves it, but shes not on the level of homestuck yet, curtis & dinah are the only sane ones, diggle and felicity are wholesome indivutals, diggle and oliver? in a secret relatonship?, dinah's wondering why she puts up with this, everyone else suffers as a result, fear her or die, fear them BOTH, felicity disapproves, hehe memes, his name is m, homestuck shenanigans, i could be sleeping but no because im an idiot, i dont like him hes only here because my friend asked, i have no idea what's happening here half the time, i will never be satisifed with the summary, im absolutely right fight me, it's a requirement to bully oliver always, laurel and felicity are in love~, laurel and rene are homestuck kinnies now, laurel has another son, laurel is a queen, laurel learns about the existance of homestuck, literally dont touch laurel's son ronzee she'll fight you, lots of chaotic energy here, my friend REALLY thought i wouldnt put angst in this story, of course, rene is a furry, rene's typing quirk is pensive emojis, shrug i dont make the rules, thea is a cursed being, this fic doesnt even take itself seriously, this is going to get very gay very soon, who do they think i am, why do i keep uploading chapters at 11 pm at night, woke: laurel and felicity are moms to laurel's cursed children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-11-16 01:05:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18084446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icebutterfly116/pseuds/Icebutterfly116
Summary: vriskathebaddestbish: i try to cut off a LOT of peoples tonguesvriskathebaddestbish: and limbsvriskathebaddestbish: ill throw breaking bones in there toorowhopper: thats lovelyvriskathebaddestbish: but if i did try to cut off his tongue im 70% sure that it was for good reasonAppleBottomJeans: there are no good reasons to threaten someones tongue





	1. Chapter 1

_laurellance has created group chat The Beginnings of Hell_

_laurellance has added_ **_smoakalarm_** _,_ **_oliburqueen_** _,_ **_hoos_** , **_doggile_** _,_ **_dinahdrake_** _, and_ **_TheBigGay_ **

**laurellance** : :)

 

**smoakalarm** : laurel…?

 

**TheBigGay** : im scared

 

**laurellance:** you should be tbh :)

 

**hoos** : since when did you learn how to operate a chatroom?

 

**laurellance** : im offended that you’ve undermined my intelligence for the 15th time this month

 

**oliburqueen** : but why??? we talk to each other everyday

 

**laurellance:** i dont need a significant reason to do anything, thank you very much

 

**oliburqueen** : >:c

 

**laurellance:** >:P

 

**dinahdrake:** laurel, it’s 2 am and all of us have work tomorrow morning

 

**laurellance:** im having trouble seeing your point

 

**smoakalarm:** is diggle still asleep

 

**dinahdrake:** i wonder why

 

**hoos** : he’s going to miss out on all the fun 😔

 

**laurellance:** this isnt supposed to be fun, it’s actually an educational experience

 

**laurellance:** that the rest of you shall endure

 

**oliburqueen:** what the hell is that supposed to mean

 

**laurellance:** **_:_ **)

 

**smoakalarm** : excuse me?

 

**TheBigGay:** that’s creepy af

 

**dinahdrake:** please stop.

 

**oliburqueen:** im actually unnerved

 

**_laurellance_ ** _has changed_ **_smoakalarm’s_ ** _name to_ **_Nepeta_ **

**_laurellance_ ** _has changed_ **_oliburqueen’s_ ** _name to_ **_Tavros_ **

**_laurellance_ ** _has changed_ **_hoos’s_ ** _name to_ **_Karkat_ **

**_laurellance_ ** _has changed_ **_doggile’s_ ** _name to_ **_Feferi_ **

**_laurellance_ ** _has changed_ **_dinahdrake’s_ ** _name to_ **_Kanaya_ **

**_laurellance_ ** _has changed_ **_TheBigGay’s_ ** _name to_ **_Tezeri_ **

**_laurellance_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_Vriska_ **

 

**Nepeta** : let me repeat myself. EXCUSE ME????

 

**Tezeri:** wakanda nonsense is this????

 

**Kanaya:** 👏👏 ive tolerated your behaviour before but laurel What The Hell

 

**Tavros:** im a) terrified b) amused c) intrigued

 

**Nepeta** : how do you even know about homestuck we-

 

**Kanaya:** sweetie-

 

**Tavros:** i thought you’ve been to the dark side before but this is just crossing a line

 

**Vriska:** :33 < im sorry :c

 

**Vriska** : feliiciity 2aiid ii 2hould a22ociiate my2elf more wiith today’2 tiime2

 

**Kanaya:** I WANT TO LEAVE THE CHAT

 

**Kanaya:** I WANT TO DELETE THE CHAT

 

**Tezeri:** so??? we have felicity??? to blame for this??????

 

**Nepeta:** I DONT CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOUR

 

**Nepeta:** THIS WASNT WHAT I MEANT

 

**Kanaya** : I WANT TO DELETE MY EYES

 

**Nepeta:** LAUREL PLEASE

 

**Feferi:** what did i just wake up to

 

**Kanaya:** felicity taught laurel homestuck quirks

 

**Feferi:** you what???

 

**Nepeta:** i did nothing of the sort-

 

**Vriska:** 5H3 7HP34K5 L135

 

**Karkat:** what does that even say

 

**Nepeta:** im ashamed to know what it says

 

**Kanaya:** dear diary, tomorrow i plan on murdering two blondes

 

**Kanaya:** sincerely, dinah

 

**Nepeta:** THIS WASNT MY FAULT

 

**Karkat: 😔 😔 😔 😔 😔 😔 😔**

 

**Vriska:** shore, jan

 

**Nepeta:** youre not helping my case

 

**Nepeta:** i thought we were friends

 

**Vriska:** of cours33!

 

**Vriska** : 8=D < only friends teach each other homestuck quir%!

 

**Nepeta** : iiiiiii hate you

 

**Feferi:** friends more like girlfriends haha

 

**Tezeri:** youre absolutely right

 

**Nepeta:** IM GOING TO BED

 

**Nepeta:** DO YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE DONE LAUREL??? YOUVE SCARED ME AWAY

 

**Vriska:** ByE bYe BlOnDiE

 

**Nepeta:** HECK YOU

 

**_Nepeta_ ** _has left The Beginnings of Hell_

 

**Kanaya:** we’ve been knew that laurel radiates the biggest chaotic energy

 

**Vriska:** was_there_every_any_doubt??

 

**Tavros:** please shut up and go to bed

 

**Tavros:** are you sleep loopey???

 

**Feferi:** our laurel used to get sleep loopey all the time too so why are we surprised

 

**Vriska:** >:c

 

**Vriska:** 1M NOT SL33P LOOPY

 

**Vriska** : 1M JUST B4SK1NG 1N YOUR F34R

 

**Karkat:** it’s working, congratulations

 

**Kanaya:** im coming over to make you go to sleep.

 

**Kanaya:** no one wants this

 

**Vriska:** >:c

 

_**Kanaya** has left the Beginnings of Hell_

 

**Tezeri:** is she actually-

 

**Vriska:** vV freak Vv

 

**Karkat:** goodnight laurel

 

**Vriska:** 1ll just tortur3 you 4ll tomorrow no b1gg13 **_:_ **)

 

**Tavros:** heck you

 

**Feferi:** not if we all block you 😔 ✊

 

**Vriska:** honk honk honk honk honk

 

**Tezeri:** WHAT

 

**Vriska:** oh god i think dinah’s here

 

**Feferi:** that was fast

 

**Karkat:** and a relief

 

**Tavros:** she had a dire mission and she’s about to carry it out without flaw

 

**Vriska:** see you tomorrow kids~ ;3

 

**_Vriska_ ** _has left the chat, tehehe!_

 

**Tezeri** : WHAT?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Vriska** : Laurel
> 
>  **Nepeta** : Felicity
> 
>  **Kanaya** : Dinah
> 
>  **Feferi** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **Tavros** : Oliver
> 
>  **Tezeri** : Curtis


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Vriska** : Laurel
> 
>  **Nepeta** : Felicity
> 
>  **Kanaya** : Dinah
> 
>  **Feferi** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **Tavros** : Oliver
> 
>  **Tezeri** : Curtis

**Karkat:** hey~ youre my dad!

 

 **Karkat:** youre my dad!

 

 **Karkat:** BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

 

 **Vriska:** i thought this was _my_ cursed chat

 

 **Karkat:** this isnt cursed, this is wholesome

 

 **Karkat:** why are you even here dont you have a meeting???

 

 **Kanaya:** yes she _does_ and so do _i_ so if you two would stop talking- especially you laurel- that would be appreciated

 

 **Vriska:** make me 😛

 

 **Kanaya** : i hope you know several people are eying you with suspicion

 

 **Vriska:** i hope _you_ know that i dont give a damn

 

 **Vriska:** it’s almost over anyway

 

 **Feferi:** why is this still my name

 

 **Vriska:** you should be flattered

 

 **Vriska:** feferi is one of the good trolls

 

 **Feferi:** hey! why do you know that!

 

 **Nepeta:** she’s lying

 

**Nepeta: none of them are valid**

 

 **Nepeta:** except nepeta i guess??? she’s just a furry

 

 **Nepeta:** and kanaya only drank her mom’s blood but hey it happens

 

 **Nepeta:** honestly vriska and equius are the most terrifying

 

 **Feferi:** hey! why do you know that!

 

 **Tezeri** : laurel being vriska makes so much more sense now

 

 **Karkat:** 😔

 

 **Vriska** : is karkat’s typing quirk the pensive emoji?

 

 **Karkat** : I DO NOT HAVE A TYPING QUIRK

 

 **Vriska:** allow karkat to have a new typing quirk 2019

 

 **Karkat:** i hope you feel my rage from the other room

 

 **Vriska:** i do and it’s lovely

 

 **Tavros:** im changing my name screw you

 

 **_Tavros_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_OliveOil_ **

 

 **Feferi:** are the only names you can come up with puns?

 

 **OliveOil:** im deeply wounded >:c

 

 **Vriska:** youve broken the cycle

 

 **_Vriska_ ** _has kicked_ **_OliveOil_ ** _from the Beginnings of Hell_

 

 **Nepeta:** LAUREL

 

 **Tezeri:** rip our dear olive friend

 

 **Vriska:** brb im going to get coffee and then back to my office

 

 **Tezeri:** k

 

 **Karkat:** is anyone going to invite him back

 

 **Kanaya:**...

 

 **Tezeri:**....

 

 **Karkat:**.....

 

 **Feferi:** 🎶🎶i mean we could but why would we want to🎶🎶

 

 **Nepeta:** y’all are mean i’ll just do it

 

 **_Nepeta_ ** _has added_ **_OliveOil_ **

 

 **OliveOil:** THAT WAS SO RUDE

 

 **OliveOil:** IM JUST TRYING TO LIVE MY BEST LIFE

 

 **Vriska:** back

 

 **Vriska** : you deserved it

 

 **Karkat:** we did have a nice thing going on 😔

 

 **Kanaya:** did you just validate homestuck

 

 **Karkat:** no i did NOT

 

 **Karkat:** WE JUST HAD A NICE NAMING SCHEME

 

 **Karkat:** DONT TWIST MY WORDS

 

 **Kanaya:** sure, jan

 

 **Feferi:** dont you mean

 

 **Kanaya:** no, i dont

 

 **Vriska:** now look who’s the rude one 😔

 

 **OliveOil:** still you

 

 **Vriska:** youre right,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Vriska** : Laurel
> 
>  **Nepeta** : Felicity
> 
>  **Kanaya** : Dinah
> 
>  **Feferi** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **Tezeri** : Curtis


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Vriska** : Laurel
> 
>  **Nepeta** : Felicity
> 
>  **Kanaya** : Dinah
> 
>  **Feferi** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **Tezeri** : Curtis

**Nepeta:** hey

 

 **Nepeta** : hey

 

 **Nepeta** : hey guys

 

 **Tezeri:** heck you

 

 **Nepeta:** well that was uncalled for

 

 **Tezeri:** it was and im not sorry

 

 **Nepeta:** >:c

 

 **Kanaya:** what is it felicity

 

 **Nepeta:** there’s a game based off of homestuck!

 

 **Feferi:** SIGH

 

 **Feferi:** why do our conversations always center around homestuck

 

 **Feferi:** why cant we talk about puppies???

 

 **Feferi** : or sumn???

 

 **Vriska:** not cursed enough, try vore

 

 **Kanaya:** i-

 

**Feferi:** **what**

 

 **Vriska:** whats this about a homestuck game felicity 👀

 

 **Tezeri:** why do you always dodge the question like that

 

 **OliveOil:** if you tell her i swear to god-

 

 **Nepeta:** you won’t be swearing anything because there will be a very angry birdie screaming in your ear

 

 **OliveOil** : is that a threat

 

 **Vriska:** shes right though

 

 **OliveOil:** bold of you to assume that i wouldnt be able to stop you

 

 **Vriska:** bold of you to assume that you could

 

 **Karkat:** i’d like to see it

 

 **Nepeta:** can i talk about my homestuck game now

 

 **Kanaya:** my answer is no but when have any of you ever listened to me

 

 **Karkat:** never

 

 **Kanaya:** that was a rhetorical question implying that you should listen to me

 

 **Tezeri:** 🎶🎶i mean we could but why would we want to🎶🎶

 

 **Feferi:** are you trying to set her off

 

 **Kanaya:** he is

 

 **Vriska:** ANYWAY homestuck game

 

 **Nepeta:** right!

 

 **Tezeri** : i cant believe you were going off on laurel for using homestuck typing quirks when you were really a homestuck stan all along

 

 **Nepeta:** excuse me

 

 **Nepeta:** i disapproved of her accusing me of introducing her to the mess of homestuck

 

 **Vriska:** she did

 

 **Nepeta:** SHUT UP

 

 **Vriska:** 😜

 

 **Nepeta:** and typing quirks are the most vile and cursed thing that one could ever do so

 

 **OliveOil:** guess you were the true villain mastermind after all

 

 **Nepeta:** did you even read a word of what i just said

 

 **Feferi:** my brain read homestuck and then immediately ignored the rest

 

 **Vriska:** why are you so anti homestuck we

 

 **Karkat:** 😔

 

 **_Feferi_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_HomestuckHateBot_ **

 

 **OliveOil:** …

 

 **OliveOil:** are you not going to kick him???

 

 **Vriska:** why would i? diggle’s wholesome

 

 **OliveOil:** are you saying im not wholesome?

 

 **Vriska:** …

 

 **Tezeri:** …

 

 **Kanaya:** …

 

 **Karkat:** …

 

 **Nepeta** : ...

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** :D

 

 **Vriska:** you said it not me

 

 **OliveOil** : this slander will not be tolerated

 

 **Vriska:** okay

 

 **_Vriska_ ** _has kicked_ **_OliveOil_ ** _from the Beginnings of Hell_

 

 **Kanaya** : IM CACKLING

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** there he goes again

 

 **Tezeri** : good let’s keep it that way

 

 **Vriska:** self care 😌

 

 **Nepeta:** WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS

 

 **Nepeta** : I JUST WANTED TO TALK ABOUT MY HOMESTUCK GAME

 

 **Vriska:** now’s the perfect opportunity

 

 **Nepeta:** invite him back!!!!

 

 **Vriska:** i mean

 

 **Vriska** : but why

 

 **Nepeta:** >:c

 

 **Vriska** : >:/

 

 **Nepeta** : pwetty pwease ;-;

 

 **Vriska:** ugh fine

 

 **_OliveOil_ ** _has been added to The Beginnings of Hell_

 

 **OliveOil** : one day i just wont come back

 

 **OliveOil** : then you’ll see

 

 **Vriska** : i look forward to it

 

 **Kanaya:** same

 

 **Karkat:** no lies detected

 

 **Tezeri:** i’ll start shopping for your farewell gift from now

 

 **OliveOil:** why do you hate me

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** i dont hate you my main man

 

 **OliveOil:** thanks bud

 

 **Nepeta:** im 50/50

 

 **Nepeta:** OKAY FINALLY HOMESTUCK GAME

 

 **Vriska:** it’s too late i already searched it up on my phone

 

 **Vriska** : and no one else cares sooooo

 

 **Karkat:** 😔

 

 **Tezeri** : what is with you and pensive

 

 **Karkat:** it’s a nice emoji okay

 

 **Nepeta:** laurel **,,,,,,,,** can you come over and play,,,,,

 

 **Vriska:** of course

 

 **Vriska** : ill be there in like 10 minutes i guess

 

 **Vriska** : im not actually doing the time in my head so dont be disappointed when i show up like an hour late

 

 **Nepeta** : :D!

 

 **Kanaya:** have fun you two!

 

 **Kanaya:** but not too much fun

 

 **OliveOil:** 👀

 

 **Vriska:** ill kick you again

 

 **OliveOil:** >:c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Vriska** : Laurel
> 
>  **Nepeta** : Felicity
> 
>  **Kanaya** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **Tezeri** : Curtis


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Vriska** : Laurel
> 
>  **Nepeta** : Felicity
> 
>  **Kanaya** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **Tezeri** : Curtis

**Vriska** : Felicity wont let me swear :c

 

 **Vriska:** i think she’s watched age of ultron one too many times

 

 **Kanaya:** felicity is a nerd

 

 **Nepeta:** hell yeah i am and im gonna flaunt it 💫

 

 **Karkat:** let laurel swear 2019 😔

 

 **Nepeta:** no

 

 **Vriska** : if i cant swear no else in this chat can

 

 **Vriska** : and because of that ive come up with alternatives

 

 **Vriska:** everyone must use them

 

 **Tezeri:** why would we do that

 

 **Vriska:** because, _curtis_ , if i have to suffer, so do you

 

 **Tezeri:** >:c

 

 **_Vriska_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_JuckJhitUp_ **

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** i did not know you were fluent in gibberish

 

 **OliveOil:** she was using a bunch of homestuck typing quirks the other day what do you m e a n

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** point taken

 

 **Karkat:** rip such an iconic name 😔

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** replace the first letter of every curse with J and you’ve basically beaten the system

 

 **Nepeta:** damn it

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** *jamn it

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** also _language_

 

 **Nepeta:** i can hear your mock through the screen

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** that’s what you jucking get for taking away my jucking swears

 

 **Tezeri:** this be cringy as juck

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** im the ultimate jamn cringe as well as meme lord

 

 **Kanaya:** how many times am i going to have to tell you to shut the jell up in one day?

 

 **OliveOil:** this it burning my eyes

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** ill kick you if you dont use my new version of cursing at least once

 

 **OliveOil:**.

 

 **OliveOil:** _jhit_

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** THANK YOU smh

 

 **OliveOil:** why do you keep trying to do me over like this 😭

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** who else am i going to bully?????

 

 **Tezeri:** you know that reasoning checks out

 

 **Nepeta:** ^

 

 **Kanaya:** ^

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** ^

 

 **OliveOil:** i hate. everyone here.

 

 **OliveOil:** and laurel you could bully literally anyone else

 

 **OliveOil:** everyone could take turns

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** i mean i could

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** but i dont jucking want to

 

 **OliveOil:** diggle i thought you were my friend

 

 **OliveOil** : my main man,,,,

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** oh i am

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** but someone has to be the bullied in this chat and it aint gonna be me

 

 **Kanaya:** or me

 

 **Tezeri:** i am out of the question

 

 **Karkat:** nope

 

 **Nepeta:** im the nerd so

 

 **Vriska:** and im the queen 🤷

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** see? thanks for taking one for the team oliver

 

 **Karkat:** yeah oliver

 

 **Kanaya:** youve done a great service

 

 **Tezeri:** a TRUE hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **JuckJhitUp** : Laurel
> 
>  **Nepeta** : Felicity
> 
>  **Kanaya** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **Tezeri** : Curtis


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **JuckJhitUp** : Laurel
> 
>  **Nepeta** : Felicity
> 
>  **Kanaya** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **Tezeri** : Curtis

**_Nepeta_ ** _has created group chat Okay You Sick Jucks_

 **_Nepeta_ ** _has added_ **_Kanaya_** _,_ **_HomestuckHateBot_** _,_ **_Karkat_** _,_ **_OliveOil_** _, and_ **_Tezeri_ **

 

 **Nepeta:** WHO TOOK DOWN RONZEE

 

 **Karkat:** who

 

 **Nepeta:** you know??? laurel’s son????

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** that creepy clown pic on the breakroom fridge that wanted to eat my face???

 

 **Tezeri:** wasnt it soul

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** i dunno man

 

 **Kanaya:** who’s also your son by definition???

 

 **Nepeta:** i would never have an offspring that looks like that monstrosity

 

 **Nepeta:** besides,,,me and laurel are too pretty for that

 

 **Karkat:** careful, your disrespect is showing

 

 **Nepeta:** >:8

 

 **Nepeta:** anyway i was getting some coffee and his picture was just. gone.

 

 **Nepeta:** laurel’s gonna off if he isnt there by the time her lunch comes around

 

 **Nepeta:** so which one of you did it

 

 **Nepeta:** oliver’s pretty quiet

 

 **OliveOil:** im quiet because this is stupid!!! it’s a clown picture!!

 

 **Nepeta:** you wont be thinking it’s stupid when she’s coming at us. she’s a very protective mother.

 

 **OliveOil:** NO i did NOT touch it

 

 **Tezeri:** i mean you have reason to do it

 

 **Karkat:** is it because we bullied you ollie 😔

 

 **Kanaya:** are you really petty enough to kidnap laurel’s clown son

 

 **Nepeta:** he would be <.<

 

 **Karkat:** ollie he’s just a boy,,,,,,

 

 **OliveOil:** your faith in me is astounding

 

 **OliveOil:** what about diggs??? he was absolutely terrified of ronzee

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** ive never done anything wrong in my entire life do NOT try to pin this on me

 

 **Tezeri:** that was pretty defensive of you diggle **👀**

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** wait wait wait lets all turn heads to dinah

 

 **Karkat:** and the plot thickens

 

 **Kanaya:** excuse me

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** you two are always fighting

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** do you honestly think we cant hear you two screaming at each other from two floors down

 

 **Kanaya:** i-

 

 **Kanaya:** first of all we are DEBATING

 

 **Kanaya:** and SECOND i would never snatch laurel’s son away from her he’s too precious

 

 **Tezeri:** you are taking this way more seriously than i ever thought you would

 

 **Kanaya:** we debated about ronzee too

 

 **Kanaya:** she won

 

 **Kanaya:** im forced to admit he’s a bean

 

 **Nepeta:** y’all have 10 minutes before laurel comes storming into the group chat someone CONFESS

 

 **OliveOil:** we havent looked to curtis or rene yet

 

 **Tezeri:** y’all think we WANT beef with laurel??? HELL NAW

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** do you think ANY OF US DO

 

 **Karkat:** in conclusion, we’re all innocent~

 

 **Kanaya:** plot twist it was felicity

 

 **Nepeta:** ive never been more offended in my entire life

 

 **Nepeta:** why would i ever hurt her so-

 

 **Karkat:** i still think it was diggs or oliver

 

 **OliveOil:** it wasnt ME

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** im too wholesome for that

 

 **Kanaya:** you are never letting that go

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** no

 

 **Nepeta:** okay but we still dont know where ronzee is

 

 **Tezeri:** cant you just print off another picture

 

 **Nepeta:** oh JUCK youre right

 

 **Karkat:** dumb dumb

 

 **Nepeta:** >:c

 

 **Kanaya:** you have five minutes

 

 **Nepeta:** DONT PRESSURE ME

 

 **Kanaya:** i’ll do whatever the juck i want thank you very much

 

 **Kanaya:** three

 

 **Nepeta:** IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU

 

 **Nepeta:** OKAY GOT IT

 

 **Nepeta:** printing it now

 

 **Tezeri:** okay but has anyone thought about how we’re going to get it onto the fridge in two minutes

 

 **Nepeta:** juck.

 

 **Nepeta:** ill worry about that

 

 **Nepeta:** it’s PRINTED im going 🛩  to the breakroom bye

 

 **_Nepeta_ ** _has left Okay You Sick Jucks_

 

 **Kanaya** : okay so which one of you losers did it

 

 **Karkat** : whoops?

 

 **HomestuckHateBot** : it was a group effort

 

 **OliveOil** : it had to be done

 

 **Tezeri** : i took NO part in this

 

 **OliveOil** : it’s true

 

 **Kanaya** : great thanks for the info

 

 **Kanaya** : im going to the breakroom to tell laurel bye ;3

 

 **HomestuckHateBot** : WAIT WE

 

 **_Kanaya_ ** _has left Okay You Sick Jucks_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **JuckJhitUp** : Laurel
> 
>  **Nepeta** : Felicity
> 
>  **Kanaya** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **Tezeri** : Curtis


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **JuckJhitUp** : Laurel
> 
>  **Nepeta** : Felicity
> 
>  **Kanaya** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **Tezeri** : Curtis ****

**Tezeri** : has anyone seen oliver, rene, or diggle today???

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** i locked them in a janitor’s closet

 

 **Tezeri:** you did??? what???

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** i told them not to touch my son but did they listen? no

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** so now they can suffer.

 

 **Tezeri:** i dont think that’s legal,,,,

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** would you like to join them?

 

 **Tezeri:** …

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** then stop talking

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** besides the janitor should be back in like an hour or something

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** theyll be fine

 

 **Tezeri:** im not reassured

 

 **Kanaya:** you’re a lawyer

 

 **Kanaya:** and im a cop

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** and a damn good one

 

 **Nepeta:** do you guys ever just. think about fanfics.

 

 **Kanaya:** no because i have a life

 

 **Tezeri:** no because i work at argus and diggle will come at me

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** yes

 

 **Nepeta:** i see laurel is the only intellectual in here yet again

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** where do you think i get my chaotic energy from

 

 **Kanaya:** homestuck.

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** well yeah but i read a lot of cursed fics too

 

 **Kanaya:** of course you do

 

 **Tezeri:** okay but if i could read fanfics i would

 

 **Tezeri:** reading people’s good content based on my favourite fandoms? i love it

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** the world doesnt appreciate fanfics enough and it shows

 

 **Nepeta:** that’s also very hypocritical of diggle because i know for a fact he reads fanfics too :/

 

 **Tezeri:** >:c

 

 **Kanaya:** why do you people have time for this???

 

 **Nepeta:** why dont you??

 

 **Kanaya:** because!!! again!!! i work!!!!

 

 **Nepeta:** so?????

 

 **Kanaya:** we-

  
**Nepeta:** lighten up a little dinah smh

 

 **Nepeta:** this isnt very cash money of you

 

 **Kanaya:** excuse me i can be very ~cash money~ when the topic isnt stupid

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** fanfics arent stupid

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** they’re a source of life

 

 **Kanaya:** im gonna have to disagree with you there sweetie

 

 **_JuckJhitUp_ ** _has changed_ **_Kanaya’s_ ** _name to_ **_TheNotSoRuleStickler_ **

 

 **TheNotSoRuleStickler:** that doesnt even make sense

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** nothing i do ever make sense you should know this

 

 **_TheNotSoRuleStickler_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_TheOnlySaneOne_ **

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** i mean…. true

 

 **Tezeri:** oi im sane

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** are you really though

 

 **Tezeri:** uh yes

 

 **Tezeri:** if we’re all finally releasing ourselves from homestuck im changing my name too

 

 **Nepeta:** oh same

 

 **_Tezeri_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_TheLastChairbender_ **

**_Nepeta_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_AppleBottomJeans_ **

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** BOOTS WITH THE FUR

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** WITH THE FUR

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKING AT HER

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** SHE HIT THE FLOOR

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** _SHE HIT THE FLOOR_

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** NEXT THING YOU KNOW

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** SHAWTY GOT LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** i have no idea what this song is but i like it

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** ugh it’s so iconic

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** is your name an avatar/simpsons reference

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** why yes it is

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** now i wanna read avatar fanfics

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** do it. for aang.

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** maybe i will,,,

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** JUCK what diggle says. he’s an idiot

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** time to pull up ao3 and fanfiction.net

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** and wattpad

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** **_No._ **

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** use literally anything but wattpad

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** if you value what little remains of your sanity.

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** oh rip

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** >:3

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** how are you still taking this no swearing thing to heart

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** also i thought diggle was wholesome

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** he took down ronzee. i warned him. his wholesome privileges have been revoked. felicity is the only wholesome one now.

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** awww thank you

  
**JuckJhitUp:** you’re welcome umu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **JuckJhitUp** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **Karkat** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **JuckJhitUp** : Laurel
> 
> **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
> **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
> **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
> **Karkat** : Rene
> 
> **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
> **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis

**Karkat:** WHERE’S LAUREL

 

**OliveOil:** I JUST SPENT FOUR HOURS IN A VERY TIGHT CLOSEST WITH TWO SWEATY MEN

 

**HomestuckHateBot:** i was NOT sweaty

 

**Karkat:** NEITHER WAS I

 

**OliveOil:** jan you WISH

 

**AppleBottomJeans:** she’s currently sipping her hot chocolate like tea

 

**TheLastChairbender:** i thought you said they’d only be in there for an hour

 

**JuckJhitUp:** yes that is what i, the former lying and backstabbing criminal, said

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** it honestly sometimes be like that

 

**Karkat:** IM GOING TO PUNCH A WALL

 

**JuckJhitUp:** this is what you deserve

 

**JuckJhitUp:** i could have done worse be grateful

 

**HomestuckHateBot:** hold up hold up who’s who im too lazy to check

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** im dinah, felicity’s applebottomjeans, and curtis is thelastchairbender

 

**AppleBottomJeans:** we decided to free ourselves from homestuck

 

**HomestuckHateBot:** HELL YEAH

 

**JuckJhitUp:** dont think for one second that this is a homestuck free zone now.

 

**HomestuckHateBot:** damn it

 

**TheLastChairbender:** *jamn 

 

**TheLastChairbender:** language, diggs

 

**Karkat:** OH let me join you in the caging of our inner homestuck

 

**OliveOil:** why did you have to say it like that

 

**Karkat:** say it like what

 

**_Karkat_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_WildDoggyOfTheWest_ **

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** this nickname is even worse than the one before

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** first of all

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** never slander karkat’s name ever

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** he’s trying his best and we love him.

 

**AppleBottomJeans:** rene reads homestuck now? 🤔

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** laurel harassed me in dms

 

**JuckJhitUp:** no i didnt

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** yes, you did.

 

**JuckJhitUp:** but it was worth it in the end wasnt it

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** definitely

 

**JuckJhitUp:** I DO NOT THINK YOU APPRECIATE THE GRAVITY OF MY ANTIPATHY JOHN HUMAN

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** egbert

 

**JuckJhitUp:** JOHN, WHY WOULD I GIVE A PUNGENT WHIPPING LUMPSQUIRT WHAT YOUR NAME IS. 

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** because we are buddies!

 

**JuckJhitUp:** BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE OUR RELATIONSHIP CAN OR WILL EVER BE DESCRIBED AS EARTH HUMAN BUDDIES

 

**OliveOil:** wtf

 

**TheLastChairbender: *** wtj

 

**OliveOil:** curtis i swear to god-

 

**HomestuckHateBot:** i did not spend four hours locked in a closest to come back and have trash on my timeline

 

**JuckJhitUp:** why do you keep shaming homestuck like this we

 

**HomestuckHateBot:** LITERALLY HOMESTUCK BROKE INTO MY HOUSE PUNCHED ME AND THEN CALLED ME A BISH WHAT THE HELL

 

**TheLastChairbender:** *jell

 

**TheLastChairbender:** **_language, diggs_ **

 

**HomestuckHateBot:** im going to come at you

 

**JuckJhitUp:** homestuck never did anything wrong 

 

**JuckJhitUp:** it’s just trying to be the most cursed content out there what’s so wrong with that

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** i can think of,,,, seven million reasons 

 

**JuckJhitUp:** you dont get a say anymore rule stickler shut up

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** >:c

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** y’all see this disrespect?

 

**AppleBottomJeans:** she doesnt mean it

 

**JuckJhitUp:** yes i do

 

**AppleBottomJeans:** _ no she doesnt _

 

**TheLastChairbender:** rene i hope you know you’re just pushing her further and further towards the Cursed Homestuck Line We Don’t Cross

 

**JuckJhitUp:** ye2, he ii2

 

**TheLastChairbender:** juck.

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** 5H3 H47H 4 P4R7N3R 1N CR1M3 N0W

 

**OliveOil:**

**  
**

 

**JuckJhitUp:** )(e’s rig)(t t)(oug)(

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** 8=D < TBH

 

**AppleBottomJeans:** AT LEAST STICK TO ONE TYPING QUIRK AYE-

 

**AppleBottomJeans:** SWITCHING MAKES IT MORE CURSED THAN IT ALREADY IS

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** 🎶i mean we co+uld but why wo+uld we want to+🎶

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** um hi what the hell did i just come back to

 

**TheLastChairbender:** i would correct you but this situation needs it

 

**HomestuckHateBot:** the homestuckhatebot is about to do his actual job and start spewing hate

 

**JuckJhitUp:** youv33 b3333n doing that this 33ntir33 tim33 what do you m33an

 

**HomestuckHateBot:** i lose five years of my life span when you talk like this

 

**HomestuckHateBot:** i hope you know that

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** oh mood

 

**OliveOil:** ^

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** i w9uld ap9l9gize 6ut i just realized i d9nt care

 

**JuckJhitUp:** WH47 4 C01NC1D3NC3 50 D1D 1 >:3c

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** you two have so much potential yet,,,, you use it for this

 

**JuckJhitUp:** P073N714L W3LL 5P3N7

  
**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** (| agreed |)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **JuckJhitUp** : Laurel
> 
> **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
> **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
> **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
> **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : Rene
> 
> **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
> **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **JuckJhitUp** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **JuckJhitUp** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa

**_JuckJhitUp_ ** _has added_ **_royharper_** _,_ **_queenthea_** _, and_ **_killerassassin_ ** _to The Beginnings of Hell_

 **_JuckJhitUp_ ** _has changed_ **_royharper’s_ ** _name to_ **_rowhopper_ **

**_JuckJhitUp_ ** _has changed_ **_queenthea’s_ ** _name to_ **_IronicLittleSunbean_ **

**_JuckJhitUp_ ** _has changed_ **_killerassassin’s_ ** _name to_ **_sisterwife_ **

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** HELLO LOSERS

 

 **OliveOil:** THEA

 

 **OliveOil:** it’s been fifty years,,,,

 

 **rowhopper:** actually it’s only been two weeks

 

 **rowhopper:** but long time no see anyway

 

 **OliveOil:** shut up roy

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** literally dont be mean

 

 **OliveOil:** try and stop me

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** are you tempting me into hacking your bank accounts

 

 **OliveOil:** i-

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** love how we’re authority figures and say all these very illegal and wrong things in front of each other

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** truly flawless law force 😌

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** how are you guys doing???

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** im only asking nyssa, thea, and roy by the way

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** i dont care how the rest of you are doing yall are mean

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** you say, bullying oliver with the rest of us

 

 **sisterwife:** absolutely wonderful. thank you for asking, diggle

 

 **sisterwife:** although these two are a nightmare to room with

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** that’s a lie and you know it liar

 

 **sisterwife:** >;3c

 

 **rowhopper:** it’s true though 💅

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** shut up roy

 

 **rowhopper:** :(

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** sweeties im so sorry

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** im so sorry youre going to have to endure this nonsense

 

 **sisterwife:** im afraid im going to need more context

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** the group chat name isnt lying this place is actual hell

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** sanity isnt a thing here

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** speaking of which

 

 **_JuckJhitUp_ ** _has changed group chat’s name to Hell: Where Sanity Comes to Die_

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** that sounds right up my alleyway

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** 😔

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** and whose fault is that for the lack of sanity in this once holy christian server

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** oliver’s

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** he ruins everything

 

 **rowhopper:** that’s also very true

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** he probably killed logic and reason in their sleep or sumn

 

 **OliveOil:** thea, my dear sister of my mine, now that youre here can you please defend me

 

 **OliveOil:** everyone here bullies me for no reason

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** you know me well enough to already know what my answer is gonna be

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** why do you even bother asking

 

 **OliveOil:** SIGH FINE BE MEAN THEN

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** i will actually

 

 **sisterwife:** as will i

 

 **rowhopper:** i will take every opportunity available to make fun of you

 

 **OliveOil:** >:c

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** hey im not mean

 

 **OliveOil:** YOU STILL LET YOUR TO BE GIRLFRIEND BULLY ME

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** in my defense

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** it is pretty funny

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** also i cant stop her 🤷

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** shes too powerful

 

 **sisterwife:** question: why is diggle’s name homestuckhatebot

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** :)

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** _do you know what homestuck is, nyssa ?_

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** can you. stop talking.

 

 **sisterwife:** no i do not

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** and you dont WANT to

 

 **rowhopper:** you really dont

 

 **sisterwife:** well now this just makes me more curious

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** well have _i_ got a story for _you_

 

 **OliveOil:** this is your cue to log off **@sisterwife**

 

 **sisterwife:** no. i am deeply interested in the home that got stuck

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** who let homestuck anywhere near laurel

 

 **IronicLittleSunBean:** because i just want to talk

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** it was felicity

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** NO IT WASNT

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** shes lying

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** THEA STOP DMING ME I SWEAR IT WASNT MY FAULT

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** oh so you LYING lying

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** i thought oliver was the one whos supposed to be bullied

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** homestuck is how life would be if someone would just let me rule the world :/

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** or at least the internet

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:**...that’s actually pretty accurate

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** i would let you rule MY world ;3

 

 **rowhopper:** …

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** …

 

 **TheLastChairBender:**....

 

 **OliveOil:** …

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** …

 

 **sisterwife:** …

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** …

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** so we’re all going to admit that was gay right????

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** im just gonna hide in a corner for the rest of my life out of embarrassment goodbye

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** NO dont leave

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** that was cute

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** and cringy

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** but still cute

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** flailing my arms so hard right now

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** i did not know it was still possible to do verbal throw up via group chat

 

 **OliveOil:** normally it wouldnt be

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** but with you it’s always possible

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** LAUREL STOP DMING ME

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** IM TOO EMBARRASSED TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** >:/

 

 **sisterwife:** i now see why this chat is so enjoyable

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** im afraid you havent seen anything yet

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **JuckJhitUp** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckHateBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa

**IronicLittleSunbean** : bored

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean** : bored

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean** : BORED

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : something tells me youre bored

 

 **rowhopper:** what gave it away

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean** : nvm not bored

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** i just had… the most deliciously evil idea

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** only been here a day and already stirring up havoc im so proud

 

 **OliveOil:** but why

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** because why not

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** is it homestuck related

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** i might be evil but im not that evil

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** yet

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** *ever

 

 **HomesuckHateBot:** thank goodness

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** anyway back to my deliciously evil idea

 

 **_IronicLittleSunbean_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_TheOnlySaneOne_ **

 

 **rowhopper:** oh my god no

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** oh my god yes

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** excuse me what

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** let me make it known that _i_ am dinah

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** uh no :/

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** you were right thea this is beautiful

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** im going to!!! fight you!! CHANGE YOUR PIC AND YOUR NAME

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** i will when you do _thea_

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** IM NOT THEA, THEA

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** so in conclusion: youre attempting to destroy our last brain cells

 

 **sisterwife:** it appears that this is the plan, yes

 

 **rowhopper:** pffft what braincells

 

 **TheLastChairbender** : true

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** im-

 

 **OliveOil:** okay but whos actually dinah

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** i. can. assure you. that. im. dinah.

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** nope. that. would. be. me.

 

 **OliveOil:** yall are so helpful

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne** : ITS NOT MY FAULT ITS _HERS_

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** NO ITS HERS

 

 **JuckJhitUp:** this is chaotic its time for me to join

 

 **_JuckJhitUp_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_WildDoggyOfTheWest_ **

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** i hate you

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** i hate you too >:3c

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** why me

 

 **WildDoggy** O **fTheWest:** go pick on felicity!!!

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** shes not on

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** thats strange

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** youre strange

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** oliver do i have permission to beat up your sister

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** i would never do that!!!

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** YOURE NOT DINAH

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** this hurts my brain

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** good

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** okay so i know thats laurel

 

 **HomestuckHateBot** : actually no that could be rene too

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** guys what the hell

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** 🤷

 

 **_sisterwife_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_OliveOil_ **

 

 **OliveOil:** my name is oliver and im a self righteous jerk

 

 **rowhopper:** you tried a little too hard with that one nyssa

 

 **OliveOil:** yeah you did

 

 **OliveOil:** it had to be said though

 

 **OliveOil:** no it really didnt

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** well……………………

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** i mean………

 

 **rowhopper:** maybe just a little truth was said………………

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** the accuracy kind of jumped out with that one…………

 

 **OliveOil:** im done with you people

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** and we’re done with you please leave

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** no one wants you here

 

 **rowhopper:** does anyone ever give oliver some ice for these burns like this must hurt buddy

 

 **OliveOil:** it DOES

 

 **OliveOil:** it certainly does

 

 **OliveOil:** nyssa istg

 

 **OliveOil:** you’ll _what_ , oliver?

 

 **OliveOil:** i’m VERY curious.

 

 **OliveOil:** thats what i thought.

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** im bringing this conversation back from DMs

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** where do you wanna meet for your brutal beating

 

 **OliveOil:** why are you threatening my sister

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** that is your sister

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** shes impersonating me

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** what else am i supposed to do

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** I UIDAHUFAUFA tell me one time ive threatened to beat any of you up

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** when you came over to my house to stop making me use typing quirks

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** when felicity spilled coffee on one of your case files

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** literally seconds after we first met you

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** i said ONE

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** also those were all pretty valid reasons to do so :/

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** HA

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** stop threatening to beat me up uwu

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** im not even-

 

 **rowhopper:** are you insinuating that thea is threatening herself just to make fun of you

 

 **rowhopper:** because she probably would

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** tbh….

 

 **OliveOil:** youre absolutely right

 

 **OliveOil** : no doubt about that one

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** i cant even lie and say thats not true

 

 **_HomestuckHateBot_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_OliveOil_ **

 

 **TheLastChairbender** : oliver keeps multiplying oops

 

 **OliveOil:** you really live to make me suffer huh

 

 **OliveOil:** yes

 

 **OliveOil:** yes.

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** of course

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** send 😔  if youre a copycat

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** that tells us literally nothing

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** they still have the same names you dumb dumb

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : im just trying to make things easier leave me alone

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** if we’re homestuck kinnies you have to be #2 on my bullying list

 

 **OliveOil:** with me being #1

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** oh my god maybe you do have some common sense after all

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** i live for these oliver shaming comments

 

 **OliveOil:** what did i ever do WRONG

 

 **OliveOil:** exist

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** you dared to breathe the same air as me

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** okay kiddies youve had your fun

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** time to press big reset button on these nicknames

 

 **rowhopper:** you can do that???

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** my best friend is felicity, roy

 

 **rowhopper:** no need to get all snarky about it

 

 **_WildDoggyOfTheWest_ ** _has changed_ **_OliveOil’s_ ** _nickname_ **_sisterwife_ **

**_WildDoggyOfTheWest_ ** _has changed_ **_TheOnlySaneOne’s_ ** _nickname to_ **_IronicLittleSunbean_ **

**_WildDoggyOfTheWest_ ** _has changed their nickname to_ **_briska_ **

**_WildDoggyOfTheWest_ ** _has changed_ **_OliveOil’s_ ** _nickname to_ **_HomestuckLoveBot_ **

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** WHAT

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** I CANT CHANGE IT LAUREL WHAT DID YOU DO

 

 **briska:** i have full domain over this chat.

 

 **briska:** that includes preventing people from changing their names :)

 

 **sisterwife:** **_suffer_ **.

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** ^ what she said

 

 **OliveOil:** i have no sympathy for someone who has contributed to my BULLYING

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** WHOOPS!

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** im

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** we

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** she

 

 **briska:** is a genius? i know ;)

* * *

**_briska_ ** _has started a DM with_ **_OliveOil_ **

 

 **briska:** have you talked to felicity at all today?

 

 **briska** : ive been calling and messaging her but no response :/

 

 **OliveOil:** i just assumed she was actually going to hide in a corner for the rest of her life out of embarrassment

 

 **briska:** i HIGHLY doubt thats the case

 

 **briska:** she says embarrassing and awkward stuff all the time

 

 **OliveOil:** i can go over to her house?

 

 **briska:** no i will

 

 **briska:** im closer and youre an idiot

 

 **OliveOil:** even in these situations you find a way to insult me

 

 **briska** : what can i say? its my special quirk

 

 **briska:** anyway thats all i wanted to know

 

 **briska:** you can close this now

 

 **OliveOil:** let me know what you find

 

 **briska:** mkay

 

 **_OliveOil_ ** _has closed DM with_ **_briska_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **briska** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckLoveBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **briska** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckLoveBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa

**TheOnlySaneOne:** @ **WildDoggyOfTheWest** @ **briska** why arent you at work

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** i didnt feel like it **😔**

 

**OliveOil:** oh mood

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** that is the worst excuse ive ever heard

 

**HomestuckLoveBot:** didnt even try with that one

 

**HomestuckLoveBot:** why is this still my name

 

**sisterwife:** shut up diggle i want to watch dinah scream at rene

 

**HomestuckLoveBot:** :’(

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** laurel says shes spending the day with felicity 

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** she also says ps: please dont let any of my interns set my office on fire

 

**rowhopper:** im. what

 

**OliveOil:** did you ask for details on that

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** nope! sounds like your average thursday to me

 

**sisterwife:** she isnt wrong

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** anyway…

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** where the hell are you then rene

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** ill answer that in a sec im driving

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** okay first of all

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** WE ARE POLICE OFFICERS

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** IT’S ILLEGAL TO TEXT AND DRIVE

 

**rowhopper:** PFFFT since when did anyone ever obey  _ that  _ law

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** that doesnt?? matter?????? we’re not supposed to go against our own rules??????? because?? again???? we’re police officers???????

 

**TheLastChairbender** : where are you going rene

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** mcdonalds!

 

**rowhopper:** i thought we all boycotted mcdonalds for big belly burger

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** i want to switch it up a bit

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** take a picture of the clown guy for laurel

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** she’ll probably want an updated picture of her son

 

**HomestuckLoveBot:** or dont please and thank you

 

**OliveOil:** we put so much effort in getting rid of him before

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** uh no we didnt

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** we just tore him off the fridge and threw him in the trash where he belongs

 

**TheLastChairbender:** rude!

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** are you new here??? rudeness is kind of our thing

 

**sisterwife** : another question: why has laurel decided to claim a clown as her son?

 

**OliveOil:** because shes chaotic

 

**TheLastChairbender:** because hes cute in a creepy way

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** why does laurel do anything tbh

 

**sisterwife:** ill admit youve got me there

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** btw i will NOT be taking pictures of the cursed ronzee

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** he sucks

 

**sisterwife:** it sounds like hes trying his best

 

**HomestuckLoveBot:** trust me he isnt

 

**OliveOil:** he stands there staring into your soul with creepy smiles and evil eyes

 

**OliveOil** :

  


 

**HomestuckLoveBot:** look at that little demon incarnate 

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** ugh hate him

 

**OliveOil:** look at his stupid BOOTS

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** a true idiot in the works

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** i cant believe theres really ronzee slander in this chat

 

**TheLastChairbender:** how do you even know about ronzee you just got here

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** laurel and i talked a lot before she invited us

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** cant we just treat him with the love and respect he deserves????

 

**HomestuckLoveBot:** uh no because he doesnt deserve any 

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** usually id ignore you guys because youre talking about something stupid but in this case i must intervene because yall are wrong

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** ronzee doesnt deserve such vile hate

 

**sisterwife:** im torn

 

**sisterwife:** on one hand, he does look like a demon

 

**sisterwife:** on the other, hes just a baby,,,,,,,,,

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** HES REALLY NOT

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** THAT IS A FULL GROWN MAN SWEETIE

 

**sisterwife:** babies come in all shapes and sizes?

 

**OliveOil:** i cant believe nyssa of all people has fallen for his tricks

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** nah shes just on the winning and  _ correct  _ side

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** that just leaves roy and curtis

 

**TheLastChairbender:** sweats

 

**TheLastChairbender:** what if i just sat here and ate my food

 

**rowhopper:** ^

 

**OliveOil:** ooooooor you could answer the question

 

**rowhopper:** i dont want to start a war 😔

 

**sisterwife:** i think its too late for that

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** hmmmmm you love me so that automatically means youre picking me over everyone else therefore choosing ronzee in the process 

 

**rowhopper:** i mean

 

**rowhopper:** sure

 

**HomestuckLoveBot:** i vote that roys vote doesnt count

 

**rowhopper:** hey!

 

**TheOnlySaneOne:** i vote that diggles right to speak should be revoked

 

**sisterwife:** i vote we just hear curtis’s opinion

 

**_TheLastChairbender_ ** _ has left Hell: Where Sanity Comes to Die _

 

**rowhopper:** oof same

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** did yall really just scare curtis away

 

**OliveOil:** whoops???

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** regardless we still WIN

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** 4-3

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** SUCK IT LOSERS RONZEE WILL ALWAYS BE VALID

 

**HomestuckLoveBot:** roys vote doesnt count though thats bias

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** when did we say bias was against the rules

 

**WildDoggyOfTheWest:** what rules

 

**IronicLittleSunbean:** exactly

  
**IronicLittleSunbean:** as i was saying: SUCK IT LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **briska** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckLoveBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **briska** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckLoveBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa

**_briska_ ** _has kicked_ **_OliveOil, HomestuckLoveBot,_ ** _and_ **_WildDoggyOfTheWest_ ** _from Hell: Where Sanity Comes to Die_

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** goddammit she got on before me

 

 **_AppleBottomJeans_ ** _has added_ **_WildDoggyOfTheWest, OliveOil,_ ** _and_ **_HomestuckLoveBot_ ** _to Hell: Where Sanity Comes to Die_

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** well hello to you too

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** hi

 

 **briska:** >:c

 

 **OliveOil:** WHAT THE HELL

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** whoa that experience was wild

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** now i know how you feel ollie

 

 **OliveOil:** does gibberish pass through your brain every time i tell you not to call me that???

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** you dont have anything relevant to say a majority of the time so yes

 

 **briska:** thats what you get for disrespecting ronzee in my absence

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** where did you two even go anyway

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** karaoke!

 

 **briska:** it was the most boringest jhit ive ever done

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** we both know you had fun

 

 **briska:** mmmm sure, jan

 

 **AppleBottomJeans** : 😘

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : why wasnt i invited i didnt go to work either

 

 **briska:** why do you think

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest: 🤔** …

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** OH

 

 **briska:** i am….. talking to an idiot

 

 **briska:** then again what else is new?

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** true, true

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : my pride is wounded

 

 **briska:** 👌

 

 **rowhopper:** wait i dont get it

 

 **rowhopper:** why didnt you invite rene????

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** they went on a date you MORON

 

 **rowhopper:** i am not a moron

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** okay _moron_

 

 **rowhopper:** >:c

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** i meant i wouldnt call it a date--

 

 **briska:** it was a date.

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** so does that mean 👀

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** ;3

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** ;)

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** squints

 

 **HomestuckHateBot:** why is nyssa on voice chat

 

 **sisterwife:** im curious of the purpose of this function and am testing it out

 

 **sisterwife:** someone get on with me

 

 **briska:** oooo i will

 

 **briska:** ive never used voice chat either

 

 **sisterwife:** excellent

 

 **sisterwife:** we shall rain down fiery hell on a new platform!

 

 **briska:** sure sis

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** *jell

 

 **sisterwife:** why

 

 **briska:** felicity banned me from swearing

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** for good reason!!!!

 

 **briska:** debatable

 

 **briska:** ive come up with alternative swearing method

 

 **briska:** jell, juck, jhit, jass, etc etc

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** if she has so suffer so do we

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** its a rule

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** its the ONLY rule

 

 **briska:** which makes it extremely important  


**sisterwife:** thats flawless logic

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** someone should fix the server name then

 

 **briska:** that would sound weird

 

 **briska:** jell: where sanity comes to die???

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** sounds stupid and not at all menacing

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** a stupid group chat name for a stupid group of people

 

 **rowhopper:** is this a personal attack.

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** juck. it is.

 

 **rowhopper:** guess we gotta kill him

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** what

 

 **rowhopper:** hey thea do you remember his address

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** yes.

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** WHAT

 

 **briska:** WHOA voice chat is wild

 

 **briska:** why does your voice sound like its booming please calm down

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** OH OH OH im joining too

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** im on my computer and i think my mic is broken though

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** ill just listen and respond on here

 

 **sisterwife:** 👍

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** lemme,,, also hop on,,,,

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** my stomach???? is???? attacking me???

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** how much big belly burger + mcdonalds have you eaten recently

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** do you honest to god want me to answer that question

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** on second thought

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne** : no

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** well thats ironic

 

 **OliveOil:** how is that ironic

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** im not talking to you

 

 **OliveOil:** then who

 

 **OliveOil** : oh

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** smh

 

 **rowhopper:** id like context

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** join voice chat and youll get it

 

 **rowhopper:** i will actually

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : okay so im 90% sure im gonna barf

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** well thats lovely

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** HOW IS THAT LOVELY IM BARFING

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** im being sarcastic we

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** DIGGS laurel and nyssa say they cant hear you

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** sometimes you cant read sarcasm through the screen CURTIS

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** except it was pretty obvious

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** ^

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** WELL HECK THEM

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** im kidding let me leave and then come back again

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** hopefully that works

 

 **_HomestuckLoveBot_ ** _has left Hell: Where Sanity Comes to Die_

 **_HomestuckLoveBot_ ** _has entered Hell: Where Sanity Comes to Die_

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** yep youre good

 

 **OliveOil:** are you guys purposely making this conversation confusing or

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** damn i wish

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** *jamn

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** does curtis have a death wish

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** I DID NOT COME ON HERE TO TALK ABOUT VRISKA

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** I COULD CARE LESS IF SHES YOUR BIRTHDAY TROLL

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** were still trying to figure that out

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** i do not have a death wish

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** @ **rowhopper** guess curtis is next on our kill list

 

 **rowhopper:** nice

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** NO NOT NICE

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** BAD VERY BAD

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** tell them oliver!!!

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** oliver????

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** i think hes left you to die

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** rip

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** i cant believe i just gave laurel the idea to have a vriska themed birthday party.

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** I THOUGHT YOU HATED YOUR BIRTHDAY

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** ROY STOP ENCOURAGING HER

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** LET ME TELL YOU i hate her

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** laurel or vriska?

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** both.

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** YES I DO

 

 **OliveOil:** oh mood

 

 **OliveOil:** im sorry but it looks like felicity is screaming at nobody and its hilarious

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** honestly tho

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** im glad you guys find me SO hilarious when im trying to put out a fire before it can even happen

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** IM GOING TO COME AT ALL OF YOU

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** diggle is the only valid person in this voice chat huh.

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** BACK

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** I BARFED

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** thank you for the completely unnecessary info

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** youre welcome

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** i just scrolled up and why is laurel having a vriska themed birthday party

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** i dont disapprove of course but

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** why

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** just because you _could_ doesnt mean you _should_

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** I CAN ASSURE YOU IT DOESNT

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** this conversation is MESSY im getting on vc one sec

 

 **OliveOil:** and then there were four

 

 **OliveOil:** +5 if we count felicity

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** heyyyyyy dinah

  


**IronicLittleSunbean:** and then there were four again because i would also like context

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** i feel another barf coming on

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** this is a very horrible attempt at a flirt

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** do you need help

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** nope! zoes here!

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** please, tell me how much help zoe, a literal five year old, is gonna be

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** she isnt five

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** WHATEVER im coming over

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** FINE

 

 **_TheLastChairbender_ ** _has left Hell: Where Sanity Comes to Die_

 **_WildDoggyOfTheWest_ ** _has left Hell: Where Sanity Comes to Die_

 

 **OliveOil:** and therefore have left ollie all alone

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** anyway stan zelda~

 

 **OliveOil:** wh

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** just get on voice chat you dingus

 

 **OliveOil:** THATS WHAT IM DOING LET ME TAKE MY TIME

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** for the last time we are not having a vriska themed birthday party. EVER.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **briska** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckLoveBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **briska** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **HomestuckLoveBot** : Diggle
> 
>  **WildDoggyOfTheWest** : Rene
> 
>  **OliveOil** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa

**_briska_ ** _has started a DM with_ **_AppleBottomJeans_ **

 

 **briska:** hey **b** elicity

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** no

 

 **briska:** i havent even said anything yet

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** you think i dont see the date???

 

 **briska:** can you at least hear me out first

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** NO

 

 **briska:** ill threaten curtis into doing it for me :/

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** leave him ALONE he doesnt deserve to get mixed up in your schemes

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** neither do i

 

 **briska:** pwease,,,

 

 **briska:** ill never ask you to do anything this terrible ever again

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** thats a lie and we both know it

 

 **briska:** i helped you torture someone!!!

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** _i. am. not. not. doing. this. for. you._

 

 **briska:** guess ill die then,,,,

 

 **briska:** guess ill be,,,, sad for the rest of the day,,,

 

 **briska:** and itll be all your fault,,,,

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** are you guilt tripping me

 

 **briska:** is it working

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** yes

 

 **briska:** then no this is genuine sadness and these are genuine tears

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** ARE YOU REALLY CRYING

 

 **briska:** :’c

 

 **briska:** 😭

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** okay okay fine

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** what do you need me to do

 

 **briska:** (:

* * *

 

 **briska:** ladies and gentlemen

 

 **briska:** we gottem

 

 **OliveOil:**?

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** id just like to apologize in advance

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** well thats frightening

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** what did you two do

 

 **_briska_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_vriskathebaddestbish_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_AppleBottomJeans’s_ ** _name to_ **_Nepeta_ **

 

 **HomestuckLoveBot:** oh my god not again

 

 **OliveOil:** please say sike.

 

 **sisterwife:** this has happened before ?

 

 **WildDoggyOfTheWest:** yep and it was WILD

 

 **_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_TheOnlySaneOne’s_ ** _name to_ **_Erisolsprite_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_OliveOil’s_ ** _name to_ **_Daraya_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_TheLastChairbender’s_ ** _name to_ **_Mituna_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_WildDoggyOfTheWest’s_ ** _name to_ **_Meulin_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_HomestuckLoveBot’s_ ** _name to_ **_Horuss_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_sisterwife’s_ ** _name to_ **_Vikare_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_IronicLittleSunbean’s_ ** _name to_ **_Tirona_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_rowhopper’s_ ** _name to_ **_Karako_ **

 

 **Daraya:** ▲▲▲if this was your attempt at a prank it was pretty lame laurel▼▼▼

 

 **Daraya:** ▲▲▲where did those signs come from▼▼▼

 

 **Daraya:** ▲▲▲why are they still here▼▼▼

 

 **Tirona:** t33st

 

 **Tirona:** oh no.

 

 **Horuss:** 8=D < UNDO

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** like i said

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** ladies and g8ntlemen

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** we gottem

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** HAPPY APRIL F8OLS

 

 **Mituna:** 1 4M FR1GH73N3D 70 5P34K

 

 **Mituan:** 0H MY G0D 175 M0R3 H0RR18L3 7H4N 1 7H0UGH7

 

 **Erisolsprite:** laurel and feliiciity really wwent out, hacked the 2y2tem, and forced u2 all to u2e home2tuck typiing quiirk2 huh

 

 **Nepeta:** :33 < it was all her idea she guilt tripped me into it

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** in my defense

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** actually i have nothing in my d8fense

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** **_perish._ **

 

 **Vikare:** ~i will have no know, ive never been more terrified~

 

 **Vikare:** ~:D mine isnt that bad~

 

 **Horuss:** 8=D < CONGRATULATIONS WERE STILL SUFFERING

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** we had to do it to ‘em

 

 **Nepeta:** :33 < no we didnt

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** true 8ut we did it anyway

 

 **Meulin:** IF I RECALL CORRECTLY, AND I DO, MY QUIRK IS JUST ALL CAPS

 

 **Meulin:** SEE I WAS RIGHT

 

 **Tirona:** i hav33 on33 of th33 worst on33s

 

 **Tirona:** this isnt 33v33n 33nglish anymor33

 

 **Tirona:** also my ability to us33 caps locks has b3333n bann33d

 

 **Tirona:** why do33s it r33p33at th33 33’s twic33

 

 **Daraya:** ▲▲▲@ **vriskathebaddestbish** i hate you i hope you know that▼▼▼

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** so ive 8e8n told

 

 **Erisolsprite** : youre kiilliing u2. liiterally kiilliing u2.

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** missi8n accomplished then

 

 **Vikare:** ~what is roys quirk?~

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** 8nly the 8est for the 8est 8f guys

 

 **Karako:** honk honk honk honk

 

 **Karako:** HONK HONK???

 

 **Karako:** HONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **Meulin:** 1M-

 

 **Tirona:** i _hav33_ to laugh

 

 **Mituna:** 17 JU57 W3N7 FR0M W0R57 70 W0R53R

 

 **Karako:** HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK

 

 **Mituna:** WHY D035 7H15 0N3 5C4R3 M3 7H3 M057

 

 **Horuss:** 8=D < officially the worst experience of my entire life~

 

 **Vikare:** ~hey hands off my quirk~

 

 **Horuss:** 8=D < i would LIKE your quirk

 

 **Erisolsprite:** your2 ii2nt evven that bad

 

 **Horuss:** 8=D < that face is currently plotting my demise what do you mean

 

 **Meulin:** HOWD YOU EVEN DO THIS FELICITY

 

 **Nepeta:** :33 < well you see

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** this isnt scienc8 class shut up

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** please

 

 **Nepeta:** :33 < >:c

 

 **Vikare:** ~your quirk is giving me mixed messages~

 

 **Nepeta:** :33 < its trying its best

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** and its being absolutely adorable while doing it

 

 **Karako:** honk honk!!!

 

 **Daraya:** ▲▲▲shhhs roy no one knows what youre saying▼▼▼

 

 **Meulin:** HE SAYS FIX THIS

 

 **Meulin:** EITHER THAT OR “JUCK THIS”

 

 **Tirona:** how do you know

 

 **Tirona:** that is th33 only normal s33nt33nc33 iv33 said this 33ntir33 tim33

 

 **Meulin:** TRANSLATOR APP

 

 **Erisolsprite:** you havve a home2tuck tran2lator app...?

 

 **Meulin:** NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MIGHT NEED ONE IN THIS WACKY CHAT

 

 **Erisolsprite:** true

 

 **Nepeta:** :33 < fortunately for you guys, i made laurel promise that this only lasts for about ten minutes

 

 **Nepeta:** :33 < its almost over

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** *unfortunately

 

 **Nepeta:** :33 < *fortunately

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** we c8uld have had the 8est tim8

 

 **Karako:** HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK

 

 **Horuss:** 8=D < whatever you say roy

 

 **Mituna:** L3MM3 JU57 7H4Y 7H15 15 7H3 W0R57 4PR1L F00L5 PR4NK 4NY0N3 H45 3V3R PULL3D 0N M3

 

 **Daraya:** ▲▲▲im sorry what▼▼▼

 

 **Meulin:** LEMME JUST SAY THIS IS WORST APRIL FOOLS PRANK ANYONE HAS EVER PULLED ONE ME

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** aww thank yo8 <3

 

 **Nepeta:** :33 < OKAY reverse this

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** i GUESS

 

 **_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_Karako’s_ ** _name to_ **_rowhopper_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_Nepeta’s_ ** _name to_ **_AppleBottomJeans_ **

**_vriskathebadestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_Daraya’s_ ** _name to_ **_Idiot 1_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_Meulin’s_ ** _name to_ **_Idiot 2_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_Mituna’s_ ** _name to_ **_TheLastChairbender_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_Erisolsprite’s_ ** _name to_ **_TheOnlySaneOne_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_Tirona’s_ ** _name **IronicLittleSunbean**_ ****

 **_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_Vikare’s_ ** _name to_ **_sisterwife_ **

**_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_Horuss’_ ** _name to_ **_Idiot 3_ **

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** there happy?

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** yes

 

 **Idiot 1:** no

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** too bad

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** remember to stan vriska and read homestuck~

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** sweetie you WISH

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** now that youve experienced it yourself cant you see its not as bad as you thought

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** youre right

  
**TheLastChairbender:** ITS EVEN MORE TERRIFYING THAN I THOUGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **vriskathebaddestbish** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **Idiot 3** : Diggle
> 
>  **Idiot 2** : Rene
> 
>  **Idiot 1** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **vriskathebaddestbish** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **Idiot 3** : Diggle
> 
>  **Idiot 2** : Rene
> 
>  **Idiot 1** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa

**vriskathebaddestbish** : blep :(

 

 **TheLastChairbender** : whats wrong

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish** : felicity is moping around :(

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** i was staying at her apartment over night and had to LEAVE because she wont talk to me :(

 

 **Idiot 2:** maybe shes forever mad about the homestuck prank

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** can relate

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** but shes been fine for the entire week

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** maybe you said something that ticked her off yesterday

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** i dont recall anything that was that bad

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** hmm... have you checked the date, guys

 

 **Idiot 2:** april 6th???? what about it

 

 **sisterwife:** april 6th marks the day when laurel- this earth’s laurel- was unjustly murdered by damien darhk

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** oh.

 

 **Idiot 2:** things just got real depressing real fast

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** how are you doing nyssa?

 

 **sisterwife:** as good as to be expected

 

 **sisterwife:** roy and thea have decided to take a break from the group chat for a day

 

 **sisterwife:** as have diggle & oliver i suspect

 

 **sisterwife:** @ **vriskathebaddestbish** also, i wouldnt take felicity ignoring you personally. youre just…

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** yeah, i get it. i’m wearing _her_ face and she probably doesn’t want to see the evil copycat of her dead best-friend-almost-girlfriend. the woman who could never make her as happy. makes perfect sense to just ignore me. completely understandable. i’d be wishing the real laurel was here too.

 

 **Idiot 2:** is that sarcasm or sincerity

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** shes using punctuation. what do you think?

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** can’t it be both? i get felicity wants to mourn for someone she loved but flat out pretending i dont exist for the entire day???

 

 **Idiot 2:** pats you

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** don’t touch me.

 

 **Idiot 2:** in your defense; youre anything but an “evil copycat”

 

 **Idiot 2:** sure you started out on this earth trying to kill us all and are currently impersonating e1 laurel but

 

 **Idiot 2:** its like that sometimes??? we all make mistakes 😔

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** thank you for the inspiring pep talk.

 

 **Idiot 2:** 👍

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** what rene _means_ to say is that youve grown into a wonderful, hilarious, kind (when you feel like it anyway), respectable person and we love you and stop comparing yourself to laurel right now before i slap you and we riot at dawn. we ALL know youre doing it

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** first of all: thanks.

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** and second, i am not comparing myself to anyone. just stating facts.

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** kindly redo your research and then get back to us with a thorough analysis and 10 page essay thx

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** otherwise you can just sit there and continue doing you

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** :/

 

 **sisterwife:** dinah _is_ right though. i dont know you that well but

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** im going to stop you right there with your sentimental speeches before they make me gag.

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** can we talk about something else please? like cake,,,

 

 **Idiot 2:** whats yall’s favourite kind of cake

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** chocolate obviously

 

 **sisterwife:** with yellow frosting?

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** WITH YELLOW FROSTING!!!

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** cheesecake

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** CHOCOLATE cheesecake best combo

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** YOURE RIGHT

 

 **Idiot 2:** i love pineapple cake dont @ me

 

 **sisterwife:** @ **Idiot 2** how could you like… pineapple cake.

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** what the hell rene

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** ‘scuse me i HAVE to barf

 

 **Idiot 2:** i said DONT @ me

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** the only valid food to put pineapple on is pizza

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** curtis you are really spilling all the tea today 🍵

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish** : i might just have to stan

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** putting pineapple on pizza might be a worse crime than putting pineapple with cake.

 

 **Idiot 2:** shut the up

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** i cant believe were discussing such controversial topics on main

 

 **sisterwife:**...from what ive observed you talk about homestuck, which is believed to be cursed, on the regular. i believe this is much more tame

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** no

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** you are literally the only one who thinks this

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** wrong.

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** rene?

 

 **Idiot 2:** dont know what were talking about because i slipped away for like ten seconds but i agree with whatever laurel says

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** see

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** also your opinion is invalid anyway because pineapple pizza is the best thing to ever happen to pizza

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** pineapple is what made pizza

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** okay so i think its your turn to shut up

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** never say that in my vicinity again

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** YOU JUST DONT PUT FRUIT ON PIZZA

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** id like to point out that tomato is a fruit

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** theres tomato sauce on pizza

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:**...juck

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** case closed. i win, your honour

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** now hold on a minute-!

 

 **Idiot 2:** whos the judge

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** me. im the judge. and the pineapple pizza lawyer.

 

 **sisterwife:** how can you be the judge and the lawyer

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** because i can

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** id call curtis the lawyer

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** bish pineapple pizza has TWO lawyers

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** pretty sure thats not how it works but okay!

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** why cant nyssa be the judge

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** shes unbiased while rene is wrapped around your pretty little finger

 

 **Idiot 2:** excuse me.

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** i mean wheres the lie

 

 **Idiot 2:** true **😔**

 

 **sisterwife:** except laurel and curtis are right 🤷

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** **_bish_ **.

  
**sisterwife:** ;3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **vriskathebaddestbish** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **Idiot 3** : Diggle
> 
>  **Idiot 2** : Rene
> 
>  **Idiot 1** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **vriskathebaddestbish** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **Idiot 3** : Diggle
> 
>  **Idiot 2** : Rene
> 
>  **Idiot 1** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa

**vriskathebaddestbish:** I AM ADOPTING A NEW SON

 

 **Idiot 1:** but why

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** dont ask me stupid questions

 

 **Idiot 2:** ew another one

 

 **Idiot 3** : im insulted that you even brought this up

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** rene because youre my best friend and i love you, im going to pretend you never said that

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** diggle however prepare to be shoved off a cliff

 

 **Idiot 3:** oh

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** dont listen to them theyre idiots

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** whats his name

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** m

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** m…?

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** monopoly…?

 

 **sisterwife:** marvis?

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** no **,,,** just m

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** no offense but that is one of the stupidest names ive ever heard

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean** : i still support you tho

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** he gets that a lot

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** m,,,,

**TheLastChairbender:** isnt that just. bonnie from fnaf.

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** do not compare m to bonnie

 

 **sisterwife:** who is bonnie?

 

 **Idiot 1:** one of the three devil incarnates mentioned in this chat

 

 **sisterwife:** who are the other two?

 

 **Idiot 2:** vriska and ronzee

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** STOP DISRESPECTING MY SON

 

 **Idiot 2:** hes ugly i hope his picture gets shredded

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** :c

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** HEY what we are NOT going to do is insult laurels precious children

 

 **Idiot 3:** hEy wHAT WEre nOt gONNa dO is INSulT LAUrels pRECious cHIldREN

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** do you desire a punch in the face

 

 **Idiot 3** : no ma’am 💀

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne** : then shut the hell up you gremlin

 

 **sisterwife:** her sons are like an extension of her being. insulting ronzee or m is also insulting laurel

 

 **Idiot 1:** was that supposed to sound all wise like

 

 **sisterwife:** yes actually

 

 **Idiot 1:** uh huh…

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** i think it was pretty enlightening

 

 **sisterwife:** i do not enjoy being lied to, _curtis_

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** 😔

 

 **Idiot 2:** hey thats my emoji

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** you are bullying children so you no longer get rights to use it

 

 **Idiot 2:** ONE IS A SCARY MURDER ROBOT AND THE OTHER IS A SCARY CLOWN WHAT DO YOU MEAN

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** M IS NOT BONNIE AND RONZEE WAS LITERALLY MADE FOR KIDS

 

 **Idiot 2:** SURE JAN

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** @ **Idiot 2** @ **Idiot 1** @ **Idiot 3** fun fact that i can rob you all blind in under a minute if i so choose

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** y’know…. just a friendly reminder to play nice :)

 

 **Idiot 2:** >:c

 

 **rowhopper:** HI what the hell did i just walk into

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** hey babe

 

 **rowhopper:** hewwo

 

 **Idiot 1:** felicity wants to rob us

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** i dont WANT to but i will if i have to

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** also laurel has a new son

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** his name is m and i love him and if any of you keep talking crap about him or ronzee expect a dead rat in your mailbox

 

 **Idiot 1:** EXCUSE ME WHAT

 

 **Idiot 2:** i-

 

 **Idiot 3:** on a scale of one to ten how seriously are we supposed to take this threat

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:**.

 

 **Idiot 3:** WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

 

 **Idiot 1:** I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOURE GETTING THE DEAD RAT FROM????

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** i dont condone this behaviour but………

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne** : go off sis

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** HOLD UP CAN WE JUST BACKTRACK FOR A QUICK SEC

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** DID ROY JUST HEWWO???????????????

 

 **Idiot 2:** and here i thought i was the furry

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** youre a furry???

 

 **Idiot 2:** i dunno am i

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** _i dont know thats why i asked_

 

 **Idiot 2:** im…… questioning uwu

 

 **rowhopper:** i am not a furry

 

 **rowhopper** : i was just scrolling through youtube comments on a raccoon video and everyone kept going “hewwo” and i thought it was a form of greeting

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** why didnt you just search it up idiot

 

 **rowhopper:** i dunno

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** roy is a red panda

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** red pandas are adorable it fits

 

 **rowhopper:** first of all

 

 **rowhopper:** I AM NOT A FURRY

 

 **rowhopper:** second are you implying i am adorable

 

 **rowhopper:** BECAUSE I AM NOT ADORABLE

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** but you are

 

 **rowhopper:** _did anyone ask you_

 

 **Idiot 1:** can confirm youre 100% adorable

 

 **rowhopper:** i hate. all of you.

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** i mean what else is new

* * *

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** hey laurel

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** what

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** im sorry

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** …

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** for ignoring you the other day

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** i just needed some space it wasnt your fault because you look like her

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** i should have told you what was wrong instead of pushing you away

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** laurel?

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** im still here

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** although i dont appreciate it i _guess_ i understand

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** what if i make it up to you

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** lets let the group chat burn for the night and go out for dinner

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** we’ll go wherever you want and it’s my treat

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** okay

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** GREAT ill pick you up

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** felicity your car is in the shop

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** oh yeah

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** ill be there in 20 minutes

  
**AppleBottomJeans:** :D!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **vriskathebaddestbish** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **Idiot 3** : Diggle
> 
>  **Idiot 2** : Rene
> 
>  **Idiot 1** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **vriskathebaddestbish** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **Idiot 3** : Diggle
> 
>  **Idiot 2** : Rene
> 
>  **Idiot 1** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa

**Idiot 1:** ew

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** what

 

 **Idiot 1:** yall know jim????

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** the new officer??

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** @ **vriskathebaddestbish** didnt you try to cut off his tongue

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** i dont know

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** i try to cut off a LOT of peoples tongues

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** and limbs

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** ill throw breaking bones in there too

 

 **rowhopper:** thats lovely

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** but if i did try to cut off his tongue im 70% sure that it was for good reason

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** there are no good reasons to threaten someones tongue

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** how would you know

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** what do you mean how do i know

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** THREATENING TO TORTURE SOMEONE IS NEVER GOOD

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** well i didnt say the act _itself_ was good

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** and its not torture

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** its freedom

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** for my ears

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** because he was probably annoying

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** :/

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** d’aww girlfriend squabbles

 

 **Idiot 3:** jim??? i hate him. he’s a jerk. a rene 2.0

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** honestly………. youre right

 

 **Idiot 2:** are you implying that i am a jerk

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** you are

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** ^

 

 **Idiot 2:** ill admit you got me there

 

 **Idiot 1:** he asked if i wanted to join his group chat

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** why

 

 **Idiot 1:** he thinks were “friends”

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** thats funny because here i thought you didnt even know what friendship was

 

 **Idiot 1:** i am going to yeet you into the abyss

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** try me

 

 **Idiot 2:** again, id like to see it

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** my bets on laurel

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** sorry ollie

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** same

 

 **Idiot 3:** except oliver would totally wipe the floor with her

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** thanks diggle i needed a good laugh

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** oh mood

 

 **Idiot 1:** -.-

 

 **sisterwife:** i think you should join jim’s group chat, oliver

 

 **sisterwife:** you could gather intel on the enemy. we could crush him under the weight of our knowledge! end this once and for all

 

 **Idiot 1:** wtf nyssa were not at war

 

 **sisterwife:** everyday is a day of war

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** um

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** so whos gonna tell her

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** you

 

 **Idiot 3:** yall live together 24/7

 

 **sisterwife:** do you not desire to immediately vanquish those who have wronged you

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** yes

 

 **Idiot 1:** NO

 

 **Idiot 1:** JIM IS A CRETIN BUT IM NOT GOING TO KILL HIM

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** oliver would never

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** who uses the word cretin anymore????

 

 **sisterwife:** i never suggested killing him

 

 **sisterwife:** just make him suffer… temporarily

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** with words

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** STOP ENCOURAGING HER

 

 **Idiot 1:** im gonna join it

 

 **Idiot 1:** not because i wanna gather dirt

 

 **Idiot 1:** i just want to see if hes as bad as i think he is

 

 **Idiot 3:** he is

 

 **Idiot 1:** shut up diggle

 

 **Idiot 3:** :(

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** tell us what happens

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** **_give us all the tea mortal_ **

 

 **Idiot 1:** can you calm tf down

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** youre asking way too much of her

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** i mean wheres the lie

 

 **Idiot 1:** i have… accepted the invite

 

 **Idiot 1:**...and ive just walked into a conversation on vore

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** PFFFFFT

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** sorry, i just have to laugh at your misfortune

 

 **sister wife:** vore…?

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** well you see

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** DONT ANSWER THAT

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** i will put a virus on your computer if you continue

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** im just trying to educate her smh

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** remember when i was alone and had no idea about your earths meme culture and you decided to help out

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** i just want to do the same for my dear friend nyssa

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL HER ABOUT VORE THOUGH???

 

 **sisterwife:** seeing you two talk about it makes me more interested in finding out what it is

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** well get less interested

 

 **sisterwife:** i wont actually

 

 **sisterwife:** ill search it up

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** DONT

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** ISTG DONT YOU DARE 

 

 **sisterwife:** oh dear

 

 **sisterwife:** my god please delete

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** _this is your own fault you fool_

 

 **sisterwife:** I. Hate. This.

 

 **AppleBottomJeans** : well there goes your internet innocence

 

 **Idiot 1:** okay update the conversation has transferred from vore to horse fingers

 

 **rowhopper:** HORSE WHAT?!

 

 **Idiot 2:** i believe he said “horse fingers”

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** undo.

 

 **rowhopper:** x2

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** x3

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** x-3

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** please, ollie, _continue_

 

 **Idiot 3:** HOW DO HORSES HAVE FINGERS

 

 **Idiot 1:** their legs??? are fingers?????

 

 **rowhopper:** THATS SO ALARMING!

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** Horses do not, in fact, have fingers. However, they do have toes. They used to have three to four toes, but because of evolution, the amount of toes has numbered down to one _hoof_. Fortunately, tiny vestigial toes still remain located on the bones above each hoof. In this essay I will-

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** i hate you

 

 **rowhopper:** DID ANYONE ASK

 

 **Idiot 1:** i did not know there was a server out there that was as cursed as ours and that jim the cretin was apart of it.

 

 **sisterwife:** “as cursed”? its arguable that theyre even worse than ours. theyre talking about _vore_

 

 **Idiot 1:** *were

 

 **Idiot 1:** they _were_ talking about vore

 

 **Idiot 1:** also did laurel teach you what that word means

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** its her own damn fault

 

 **TheLastChairbender** : *jamn

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** curtis i will murder you where you stand

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** but im not standing, im lying down

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** good. youll have a harder time running away.

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** i-

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** @ **Idiot 1** nope! she googled it!

 

**sisterwife: vore has scarred me more than my fathers training ever will**

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** we’ll turn you into a cursed overlord yet ;3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **vriskathebaddestbish** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **Idiot 3** : Diggle
> 
>  **Idiot 2** : Rene
> 
>  **Idiot 1** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **vriskathebaddestbish** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **Idiot 3** : Diggle
> 
>  **Idiot 2** : Rene
> 
>  **Idiot 1** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa

**Idiot 3:** how IS everyone today

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** well ive gone from my usual feeling like jhit to feeling like crap

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** so an improvement

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** absolutely

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** also feeling kind of gay

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** @ **AppleBottomJeans** lets go out later and watch a movie

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** hell yes~

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** also im good diggle

 

 **sisterwife:** i have a dreadful headache

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** and as a result she made us pity her so now we’re her personal servants for the day

 

 **sisterwife:** servant seems like such a nasty term

 

 **sisterwife:** how about the sympathetic help

 

 **rowhopper:** that works

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean** : does it tho

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean** : does it really

 

 **rowhopper:** yeah?????

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** im pretty good,,, oliver and i managed to bust some sick muggers

 

 **Idiot 1:** ^

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** and ive been developing a new prototype for my t-spheres

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** says curtis for the 100th time since weve known him

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** WHY do you have to call me out like this

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** if i dont who will

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** >:c

 

 **Idiot 3:** :D!!

 

 **Idiot 2:** oh my god imagine being this productive

 

 **Idiot 2:** i literally…. cant

 

 **Idiot 2:** ive just been napping all day

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** and not coming into work THANKS RENE

 

 **Idiot 2:** in my defense i was up all last night on the job

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** well thats strange

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** and a lie

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** he was playing mario kart at my apartment

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** <.<

 

 **Idiot 2** : i mean-

 

 **Idiot 2:** ITS A GOOD GAME OKAY

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** sure, jan

 

 **sisterwife:** its like that sometimes

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** *it be like that sometimes

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** GOD NYSSA learn your meme culture

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** i could help with that~

 

 **sisterwife:** after my introduction to vore, i’d rather pass

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** suit yourself ~.~

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** what kind of face is that

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** ~.~

 

 **Idiot 1:** ~.~

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** ~.~

 

 **Idiot 3:** what emotion are you trying to emite

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** pensive but better

 

 **Idiot 2:** now hold on dont you think thats a little of an overstatement

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** no

 

 **Idiot 2:** are you sure

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** yes

 

 **Idiot 2:** its not too late to take it back

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** im not taking it back.

 

 **Idiot 2** : then die

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** 👍

 

 **Idiot 1:** ive deducted that i hate popcorn

 

 **Idiot 3:** what did popcorn ever do to you

 

 **Idiot 1:** get stuck in my teeth

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** that is a pretty balid reason to hate popcorn

 

 **Idiot 3** : i mean i GUESS

 

 **_vriskathebaddestbish_ ** _has changed_ **_Idiot 2’s_ ** _name to_ **_WildFurry_ **

  


**AppleBottomJeans:** oh no! a wild furry has appeared!

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** rene has decided to embrace his furriness

 

**TheOnlySaneOne: 👀**

 

 **WildFurry:** i have. no idea what shes talking about

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** geez how many times is the liar gonna jump out in one day…

 

 **WildFurry:** WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BEING A FURRY

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** you. you did. just a few days ago. do i need to screenshot it?

 

 **WildFurry:** I WAS JUST TAGGING ALONG WITH WHAT ROY SAID

 

 **WildFurry:** BESIDES IM QUESTIONING

 

 **rowhopper:** ACTUALLY IT WAS DIGGLE’S FAULT FOR POINTING OUT MY ACCIDENTAL HEWWO ANTICS

 

 **Idiot 3:** is this conversation about me…. or is it REALLY about rene being a furry

 

 **AppleBottomJeans:** its about rene being a furry

 

 **TheLastChairbender:** so rene how long have you _been_ a furry

 

 **IronicLittleSunbean:** and what kind of furry are you

 

 **sisterwife:** a wild dog, obviously

 

 **WildFurry:** i dont appreciate the bullying

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** and i dont appreciate you not coming into work so….. deal with it

 

 **WildFurry:** @ **vriskathebaddestbish** did dinah put you up to this

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** :)

 

 **vriskathebaddestbish:** although id have probably pulled this card eventually out of sheer pettiness

 

 **WildFurry:** @ **TheOnlySaneOne:** heck you

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** next time come to work!!

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** its literally not that hard!

 

 **WildFurry:** but...

 

 **WildFurry:** it is

 

 **TheOnlySaneOne:** **_<.<_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **vriskathebaddestbish** : Laurel
> 
>  **AppleBottomJeans** : Felicity
> 
>  **TheOnlySaneOne** : Dinah
> 
>  **Idiot 3** : Diggle
> 
>  **WildFurry** : Rene
> 
>  **Idiot 1** : Oliver
> 
>  **TheLastChairbender** : Curtis
> 
>  **rowhopper** : Roy
> 
>  **IronicLittleSunbean** : Thea
> 
>  **sisterwife** : Nyssa


End file.
